...is it wrong to get even the tiniest bit upset, when I find myself being bitter, because what I want so badly and have worked so hard on seems to be such an easy thing to attain for others?
I know it's ugly. I know I'm supposed to be content. It's not like I'm not appreciative - I am immensely grateful for what I've got. But sometimes - just sometimes -I would wonder, "why am I not the one to get that first - even though I've been going at it for longer?"
B always calls me out on it - maybe I do have a secretly competitive side; and being a Capricorn, it's not surprising that I am ambitious in a practical way. I know you can never compare what you have with another's unless you have walked a mile in their shoes, yet I just can't help but to feel the burn of jealousy sometimes when I see others getting what I've been desiring before I do, or getting seemingly more than what I've got.
I am upset that it does vex me; and doubly so because I can't deny the fact that I am still yearning for what I have yet to get...