Thursday, April 22, 2010
stressed and depressed
About a hundred of us were herded into the gas chamber today... or at least that's what it felt like. Going through the grand hotel lobby where our Christmas party was held (when we still had one the year before), we were in a totally opposite mood - anxious, worried, tense. I found it so ironic that we so politely applauded to welcome the big people from our new parent company - afterall, they were here to bring us bad news. I guess it's inevitable and most of us half-expected it, but actually hearing it was still a shock. And what's worse, after the devastating news, I also realized something more frightening - the support that I need the most, like usual, will not be found in the one I seek from. I was never - nor would I ever become - the priority to the person that I want to lean on. I guess I must be too demanding because I just wanted a little bit of attention in my emotional crisis. Furthermore, I don't know if I should break the news to my parents, and if so, how to tell them so as to minimize stress and tension because they do tend to jump to conclusions and to over-worry. I am so stressed and depressed for I stand alone, with no clue of what's to come and how long until I fall apart.